Karaoke anyone?? It will help your decision making under pressure….
By
admin
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Published
February 22, 2010
Developing mental toughness and staying cool under pressure.
Today we are going to start with the last part first, before going onto the first part last, beginning tomorrow… You following me? Hahaha! 
Does being mentally tough just come down to genes?
Is it just a case of you are whatever yo’ momma gave ya, and that’s it?
I don’t think so!
I want you to imagine a simple scenario: You are out on the town with a group of friends and the first place you guys happen to stop in has a Karaoke machine.
You aren’t drunk yet, not by a long shot! Do you go up and start singing??
You should: But not immediately. First you should sit for at least 15 minutes contemplating going on stage and singing. I want you to think about which song you’ll perform. I want you to think about all those people watching you up there alone, most of them are drunk, and there might even be some heckling after you get going.
They might hate your singing ability!
But you should go up any way, and today’s Blog is about why…
For years it was thought that our brains couldn’t develop more “mass” once we left childhood behind. The latest research has blown that theory well out of the water and this is good news.
When it comes to making decisions under pressure, you can train yourself to make a choice quicker, by keeping your new life experiences quota up.
Why? Because more life experiences, particularly exhilarating or frightening ones, help our brain mapping, and neuroplasticity occurs…. New experiences mean faster cognitive abilities when circumstances demand it.
Going up on stage to sing Karaoke, sober, would qualify as a new and exhilarating experience for most of us, and this is a good thing. For most of us public speaking, or even better, sober public singing, would be cause for great amounts of panicking.
The brain loves new challenges and revels in the chance to improve its own efficiency. It will lay down a new marker within itself and then, the next time you are forced to make a decision quickly, under pressure, it can run straight to the “marker” or file cabinet labeled, “Holy shit, I need to make a decision” – and do so faster than it did before.
It adapts faster to new and unexpected stimuli because it has new, “pathways” on which to travel.
We make decisions primarily based upon the totality of our own life experiences, the more varied and plentiful these are, the better we are equipped to handle unusual circumstances, threats, or scary encounters.
When we become complacent about life, or mentally sedentary, our brain starts going into cruise mode. Everything is pretty much, “normal” until suddenly it isn’t.
Then your brain effectively does a shoulder shrug and asks what the hell do you want from me? I’m not equipped to handle this; resulting in a freeze and a dumb looking facial expression.
This is exactly what happened to the doctor that attempted to intervene during that poor girls’ traffic accident I described last week. Theoretically he had the medical knowledge needed to help me with the incident. Unfortunately he lacked the stressful life experiences to keep him calm when it happened. He had no new, recent, mind mapped “flags” for his brain to fall back onto. His brain had to go way back to med school, or maybe even further back than that, for his brain to have a reference point from which to start the decision making process.
Basically he was out of practice when it came to doing things, “on the fly”. His capacity to improvise and remain calm in the face of all that stress was severely lacking. He may have been a Podiatrist for all I know. Or possibly when he yelled I’m a Doctor he failed to mention the whole story and he was a Doctor of Philosophy. Who knows!
I know that if a Dr. from one of the local E.R.s had of shown up, there wouldn’t have been any delay getting down to brass tacks. Even a nurse, or a cop, or a fireman, or Tiger Woods P.R. person, would have remained calmer than this guy!
My life, however, at that time was far from calm. I was still serving in the Commandos: An environment that prided itself on developing men that could stay calm under pressure.
After all, what good would you be running around firing blindly in all directions the first time things got a bit dicey?
We were placed into deliberately stressful situations and made to think clearly…at least most of the time. There were always going to be moments when running around like a chicken with its head cut off would seem like a good choice, given all of the options…LOL.
So, in an age when doing anything, “risky” is viewed with varied levels of disdain, I want you to embark on a journey of adventure this coming year and you can attribute every “crazy” experience towards becoming a more effective person under pressure.
That covers the “decision making process” part of last week’s Blog, tomorrow we’ll take a look at the final part in this series, Mental Toughness, and whether you are or aren’t mentally tough.
Cheers! Terry
www.highintensityteambuilding.com
More information about neuroplasticity on the following links:
http://www.headstrong.com.au/FAQ/~Q4-54/What_is_neuroplasticity
“Keeping your brain fit!” – follow the link below.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/02/04/usnews/main3787019.shtml
Posted in Keynote Speaking, inspired, teambuilding
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Tagged better decisions, better decisions under stress, charlotte speakers, commando, community team building, community teambuilding, cool under pressure, energetic, engaging speaker, finger puppets, flash mob, flash mob dance, fun blog, funny blog, funny speakers, gothic, karaoke, Keynote speaker, keynote speakers nc, mascara, mental toughness, mind mapping, motivational speakers, motivational speakers nc, neuroplasticity, Public speaker, singing, Terry Vaughan, Terry Vaughn
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Do you believe in magic?
By
admin
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Published
February 9, 2010
Do you believe in luck?
If you do, then you probably also still believe in Santa Claus, the tooth fairy and magic spells….
A long time ago, back when I was young and vibrant, I served with the military. The military is the ultimate place when it comes to rumors. Part of the reason for this is the fact that for the majority of the time enlisted men are treated like mushrooms: Kept in the dark and fed on crap.
One particular day a favorable rumor started in regards to a deployment to Kenya, Africa, but only for a handful of our guys. Of course, the rumor stated that only the most senior guys would be considered and all others should just forget about it…
That didn’t sit well with me as I really wanted this deployment and visit a place I might never get a chance to go to again – and get paid for doing it.
I didn’t even mention my interest to my mates. Most of them would have enjoyed going every bit as much as I would, but they had already stated they didn’t stand a chance and resigned themselves to failure before even trying: I loved that!!
The problem with the military is, it thinks of itself as some sort of dictatorship and everyone should follow the rules. I’m in favor of the system in war time because second guessing orders gets men killed, more often than not.
But during peace time, I believe the rules should be approached a tad more open minded…
Plus telling me not to do something is pretty much a freaking guarantee that I’ll do it. That’s what got me into the Commandos in the first place. Even my own Father didn’t think I could make it. Everyone said you’re crazy, they’ll beat the crap out of you and fail you, and then what’ll you do?
As if the risk of not making it should be enough to deter one from even trying? WTH?
A plan started to form in my mind: A plan of audacity, rule bending and just a hint of rebelling against the system. But one must be careful. The military doesn’t take kindly to individual free thinking souls – unless they come with a smile and truck loads of charm and persistence. Of which I am amply blessed when my mind is set to achieve something.
My war of persistence began in a very low key and unassuming manner. The day after the rumor began, I showed up at the Sergeants’ office and off handedly remarked that if there were to be a trip to Kenya, I would be willing to deploy, even on short notice.
Did you notice how I twisted it around a bit? Now the trip didn’t sound so much like the glory trip it might have seemed initially. I was actually doing him a favor by letting him know that no matter what happened, I was his go-to-guy if things looked dicey for putting boots on the ground.
It didn’t work – exactly, “Vaughan, you’re a wanker. And that little line making the whole thing sound like you’re helping me out here, that’s ballsy…”
OK. I know. Not the most auspicious of beginnings, but here’s where lesser men would have tucked tail and walked away. I was just getting started.
So for the next two weeks here is how it went for my poor sergeant:
Every morning, after every lunch, last thing in the afternoon, I would “show up” and see what was going on at the office. After a few days of my becoming a regular at his office, he began to relent. I knew I was winning the first time he said he’d put me on the standby list, if anyone couldn’t go due to injury, sickness or whatever, I would be top of the back-up list.
Believe me, that was a victory. The war wasn’t won yet, but I’d certainly let the enemy know he was in for a tough uphill battle. Time to up the ante…
Now I started making tea runs for him, whether he needed a cuppa or not. Or runs to the Naffy, (the on base military shop selling T-shirts, coke, candy bars and other assorted merchandise the boys might need).
I let folks think I was in real trouble and having to do some running around to make it all OK again with the sergeant. Of course eventually he’d had enough, more than enough. He saw me coming and I could see the color drain from his face.
I always smiled, I always managed to make him laugh, but I was also driving him crazy. After two weeks he’d reached his limit.
“Vaughan, if you don’t quit bugging me the only place you’ll be getting deployed to is Arbroath!” Arbroath is a town in Scotland where no one wants to be, not even the Scots who live there… Everything was on the line now. Should I continue or accept defeat?
I rolled the dice. “But, sergeant, this would stop today if you’d give me a shot and put me on that deployment. Do you know how much paperwork is going to be involved with actually re-assigning me to 45 Commando? Sending me to a whole new unit? (Believe me it’s worth mentioning that if there’s one thing warriors hate, its paperwork – and this guy was a soldiers, soldier). I hit a nerve.
What I was saying in not so many words was, this will not stop. I will do this until you re-assign me to another unit, or put me on the list for Kenya. And I said it without actually saying it. I would never overtly threaten a senior rank, especially not his guy, I liked him!
I saw the doubt in his eyes. It was time to seal the deal.
“I’ll not bother you with anything again, ever, if you’ll do me a solid and put me on the list.”
“FINE! Now leave me the hell alone…” He tried to sound angry, but he was already chuckling as he began walking away. He added this as he left,
“If anyone else had worked as hard as you for this I’d have hung myself a week ago… Hell, if the whole Commando Brigade was as stubborn as you I could rule the freaking world…..” I believed him.
Three weeks later the personnel list for Kenya was posted, and would you Christmas Eve it, my name was on the list. Guess what I heard for the next few weeks,
“Vaughan’s so freaking lucky. How the hell did he get on the list?”
“Some blokes have all the luck. It’s just not fair.”
Typically these sorts of comments came from those that had quit trying before it ever began.
Success of any sort isn’t about luck. Luck is something that happens to us. But this line of reasoning means you are at the whim of chance. Something, or someone, has the power to rule your life.
It also means that when bad things happen, when “bad luck” strikes, your mindset is all wrong. You take on the attitude that of course something bad has happened, you knew your luck couldn’t last forever. Right?
Horsepucky!
If you don’t believe in luck, then whatever happens isn’t about the wind changing and your good/bad fortune suddenly slapping you in the face. It’s just what happens. Life happens. There is no good or bad, there are just things.
How you choose to look at them is all a mindset. Saying, “it’s just bad luck” gives the power for your life over to an age old superstition.
If you are stuck on the side of a mountain, lost after a long hike and it suddenly starts to rain, guess what? Mother Nature isn’t kicking sand in your face. She’s just doing what she does, watering the plants. You just happen to be standing in the garden when she does.
When you succeed at something and everyone around you is saying, oh you’re so lucky, nothing like that ever happens to me… Guess what? It wasn’t luck, it was work. It was putting yourself out there and taking calculated chances. It was at least having the balls to try. - follow this link to find out more about creating your own luck.
You won’t always get the outcome you desire. So what? You’ll still have more than you did before embarking on the journey, even if it’s more experience…
The biggest regrets you’ll ever have in life will be the ones where you didn’t even get in the game in the first place. You didn’t even try.
Life is not a spectator sport.
And it won’t play out the way you want it to if you don’t at least start taking charge of its direction. TAKE ACTION!
Stop using “Bad luck” as an excuse for why you didn’t even try! Make your own luck by working hard and being in the right place, at the right time, for the right reasons, and watch what happens.
The situation I mentioned earlier about being stuck on the side of a mountain when the rain begins, well I’m betting half of you said, “What the hell would I be doing on the side of a mountain?”
I have news for you. You’re already on the side of a mountain. That’s where life is played out. Those that succeed and make the biggest contribution to their own happiness are the ones that can say, “Well, I won’t be thirsty tonight” the second it starts to pour.
They didn’t start saying things like, “Isn’t this typical. My bad luck just keeps getting worse and now here comes the rain”…. It might not be what you asked for. It might be a different result than the one you were trying for.
But at least you are trying!
Keep trying and it’s only a matter of time before your luck changes! Hahaha!!
Cheers, Terry
Posted in Keynote Speaking, inspired, teambuilding
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Tagged beautiful women, changing you out look on life, changing your luck, changing your outlook, charlotte speakers, commando, community team building, community teambuilding, countdown to flash mob, dance, do you feel lucky, energetic, engaging speaker, enthusiasm, example of public speaker, exciting speakers, flash mob dance, funny speakers, get lucky, happy at work, High Intensity, High Intensity Teambuilding, hot women, im not an aussie, Keynote speaker, keynote speakers nc, motivational speakers, Oprah, Public speaker, public speaking, sick of the bad luck, T-mobile, Terry Vaughan, Terry Vaughn, ways to make yourself happy, youtube.com/tcvaughan34
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…I could have died…
By
admin
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Published
February 8, 2010
Instead, I just burnt my thumb…
Hello gang, nice to be back and I hope you lot had a dandy weekend.
We are going to be having a look at a few close calls; a few, “I nearly died” incidents; even a few close calls that others have experienced and then see what benefit these brushes with the reaper can be to all of us.
I’ll start with one instance where we were deployed somewhere hot and sticky (Royal Marines) and had been tasked with putting on a firepower display using 51mm mortar. We were a small cog in a big wheel that day and our “out of the box” (straight out of Officer training at Commando training center) 2nd Lieutenant was keen as mustard to prove what he could do taking charge of our fire-team. He was determined he could set a new record for the amount of H.E. (high explosive) rounds we could have airborne at the same time…
I wonder how many stupid mistakes have been made throughout history by someone trying to impress someone else and all for the wrong reasons? I’m going to be conservative and say probably just a few.
Anyhoow, we had set up the mortars, had opened several boxes of explosives and were now standing by to start dropping them in on an area about 600 meters away.
So far so good…
The order to commence firing came over the radio and so it began. Three of us had a system that went something like this:
One man would pull the tape off the rounds (and extract the safety pin which was a bit like the pin used on hand grenades) before handing them to -
Man number 2 would then feed the round into the top of the mortar tube, before -
Man number three pulled the firing handle at the base of the tube, ”launching’ the projectile down range – tadaaa!
Normal rate of fire for these things is 6 – 8 rounds per minute. Accept if you’re a new officer ready to re-invent the wheel. This guy thought that if he harassed us enough we could send enough of these things into the air it would be as if it were raining rounds…
Bad things happen when the man in charge let’s his ego start dictating protocol.
So there was a nice rhythmic popping soundeach time a mortar round left the tube, only interrupted by the constant babble of the officer behind us insisting we,
“Do it faster..”
I wanted to reply, “that’s what she said” - but of course I didn’t, I didn’t have time…
So we, ”went faster”. As is nearly always the case a wise and well respected Sargeant wandered over from near the high powered gathering of Brass a short distance away, in order to bestow some wise words of caution upon our benevolent leader. Bare in mind, the three of us lowly grunts were already exchanging worried glances about various safety issues that increasing the rate of fire was having. Including heating the mortar tube barrel up dangerously high. Mortars tend not to leave deformed, overheated tubes, in the unfettered state they were intended.
The 2nd Lt. of course ignored the mother hen sargeant and insisted we actually increase speed further.
I now found myself holding a mortar in each hand, pin removed, and trying to drop the explosive into the tube as soon as the earlier bomb had cleared it. Tensions were running high and we were starting to snap at each other when we weren’t performing our individual tasks fast enough.
It was during one of these exchanges that it happened…
The guy pulling the safety pins asked me if the last round he handed to me had the pin still in it. This of course meant I had to turn my head to check, meanwhile, unseen by me, the guy holding the mortar tube and pulling the firing lever, was having trouble getting the arm pulled down to strike the base of the round, already in the tube.
During this heated and rapid discussion the 2nd Lt didn’t approve of our slowing down and yelled over all of us to hurry the hell up; “people” were watching.
I quit trying to talk and feed ammo into the tube at the same time. I began lining up the next mortar round over the opening of the tube, poised to release it, when I had a flash of doubt as to whether I had heard the tell-tale sound of the previous round firing. I withdrew the new round out of the line of fire as the old round left the tube.
In terms of how close we come to spreading ourselves all over the firing line, let me say this, the launched round burnt the thumb holding the new round I was about to drop as it passed. If the two high explosive rounds had met, there wouldn’t have been enough meat left from our fire team to put into a plastic sack.
For a few seconds all firing ceased. Oddly enough, no-one complained. The “new” officer withdrew, leaving command in the “capable” hands of the sargeant while he went in search of other pressing matters on which to focus his attention. The color had drained completely from all of our faces. In a typically cool tone the sargeant suggested we continue, only this time placing only one round in the tube at a time.
No one on the team felt inclined to contradict him.
The whole exchange only took a few seconds and then we were back to firing at the approved rate of speed. This time the comforting sound of mortars leaving the tube was interlaced with sporadic giggling as we all took stock of how close we’d come to blowing ourselves up.
Over the next couple of days we’ll have a look at leadership, ego, humor, and how much more effective we all are when the guy in charge has a cool head!
Cheers, Terry.
P.S. “One thorn of experience is worth a whole wilderness of warning.” – James Russell Lowell
www.highintensityteambuilding.com
Posted in Keynote Speaking, inspired, teambuilding
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Tagged a career in proctology, accidents will happen, after dinner speaker, beating egotistical leadership, beautiful women, beauty, charlotte speakers, commando, community, community team building, community teambuilding, cool under pressure, egotistical leadership, energetic, engaging speaker, enthusiasm, example of public speaker, exciting speakers, explosives, flash mob, flash mob dance, funny speakers, grow participation, High Intensity, High Intensity Teambuilding, hip hop, how big, how to stay cool under pressure, I could have died, I nearly blew myself up, I nearly died, im not an aussie, Keynote speaker, keynote speakers nc, lessons in leadership, motivational speakers, motivational speakers nc, Oprah, proctologist, Public speaker, public speaking, stupid people, T-mobile, team building, teambuilding, Terry Vaughan, Terry Vaughn, why not to impress, youtube.com/tcvaughan34
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Friday Fiasco – some funny, some painful, all light hearted relief before the weekend.
By
admin
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Published
January 29, 2010
I thought it might be fun to list a few amusing video links for today, as well as some that just make you scratch your head and wonder. A brief synopsis follows each link so you have an idea about what you’re opening and whether to turn the volume up or down….
http://www.break.com/index/how-to-report-the-news.html typically sarcastic English humor and it includes cursing, so make sure your kids or boss aren’t within earshot.
http://www.break.com/index/dog-poops-during-live-news-segment.html you can’t understand a word the news reporters are saying, but I don’t think you’ll need too…..
http://www.break.com/cute-girls/pogostick-girls.html not sure what type of insurance these girls are trying to sell, or in which country it was aired, but I’m thinking about changing my policy..
http://www.break.com/horror/horror-music-video.html I’m a horror movie nut and it was fun trying to guess which movie these clips are from.
http://www.break.com/horror/bedfellows—short-film.html – this one isn’t funny, turn your volume up and see if it makes you jump..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GoCqvnJFUUA&feature=rec-r2-2r-3-HM there’s no sound for this compilation of clips, but some of these really look like they hurt, so it’s worth a watch.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXsK5wyh3tA&feature=related some of these pictures are amazing. You’ve got to wonder WTH some of these folks were thinking to get into this kind of mess!

What he REALLY MEANS….
“That’s women’s work!” Really Means – It’s dirty, difficult and thankless, and I don’t want to do it.
“Can I help with dinner?” Really Means – Why isn’t it already on the table?
“It would take too long to explain..” Really Means – I have no freaking clue how this works but I’m not admitting that to you.
“We’re going to be late because of you!” Really Means – Now I have a legitimate reason for driving like an asshole, testing the very limits of my car and reflexes, and I expect no screaming or drama from you.

…and you thought your life sucked…
Taken from the incredibly funny Book F My Life by Maime Valette, Guillaume Passaglia, and Didier Guedj .
“Today I was volunteering at a nursing home, and I was calling bingo numbers. A woman suddenly stood up and started making noises. I assumed she had won, and began clapping. She fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I applauded her death…”
“Today my Father asked me if he could borrow my electric razor because he wanted to surprise Mum later. Anxious to see him without his lifelong beard, I willingly agreed. Half an hour later he exited the bathroom, beard fully intact…”
“Today I was getting my teeth cleaned at the dentists office. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. “STOP!” He ordered me. The movement of his lips cause the snot to fall right into my open mouth….”
“Today, while I was working, my ex-girlfriend came in to apply for a job. She had broken up with me for another guy, so I can’t stand to be in the same room with her. The manager hired her on the spot. I have to train her…”
Pearls of wisdom:
Don’t do for others what, given the chance, they wouldn’t do for themselves.
An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.
A retired husband is a wife’s full time job.
Even at a mensa convention, someone is the dumbest person in the room
One last joke:
The old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near he caled for his lawyer.
“I want to become a Democrat. Get me change of registration form.”
Slightly surprised the lawyer asked him,
“But why? You’ll be dead soon, so why change now?”
“That’s my business young man, just make it happen!”
A few days later the registration had been filed and the old man was now indeed a Democrat. The lawyer was once again at the old mans side as he closed in on death.
Suddenly the old man began coughing and gasping for air and it was obvious he was close to the end. Curiousity go the better of the lawyer and he attempted to once again get an answer to his question,
“Please, you are so close to death, tell me why you changed your affiliation?”
The old man took a deep raspy final breath and in a feint whisper replied,
“… now… there’s.. one less.. Democrat…”
Cheers, Terry
P.S. Instead of writing a famous “quote” today, as I do for most days, I wanted to draw your attention to something that occurred earlier this week – you might not have even heard anything about it on the news, which is why I deemed it essential to make mention of it myself. If, after reading the article it strikes a chord with you, please cut and paste the story and email to your friends – these men should not be forgotten:
You’re a 19 year old kid.
You’re critically wounded and dying in the jungle in the Ia Drang Valley. November 11, 1965. LZ X-ray , Vietnam
Your infantry unit is outnumbered 8-1 and the enemy fire is so intense, from 100 or 200 yards away, that your own Infantry Commander has ordered the MediVac helicopters to stop coming in.
You’re lying there, listening to the enemy machine guns and you know you’re not getting out. Your family is 1/2 way around the world, 12,000 miles away, and you’ll never see them again. As the world starts to fade in and out, you know this is the day.
Then – over the machine gun noise – you faintly hear that sound of a helicopter. You look up to see an unarmed Huey. But … it doesn’t seem real because no Medi-Vac markings are on it.
Ed Freeman is coming for you.
He’s not Medi-Vac so it’s not his job, but he’s flying his Huey down into the machine gun fire anyway. Even after the Medi-Vacs were ordered not to come. He’s coming anyway. And he drops it in and sits there in the machine gun fire, as they load 2 or 3 of you on board. Then he flies you up and out through the gunfire to the doctors and nurses.
And, he kept coming back!! 13 more times!!
He took about 30 of you and your buddies out who would never have gotten out. Medal of Honor Recipient, Ed Freeman, died last Wednesday at the age of 80, in Boise , Idaho . May God Rest His Soul. I bet you didn’t hear about this hero’s passing, but we’ve sure seen a whole bunch about Tiger Woods. . .
But nothing on the death of Medal of Honor Winner Ed Freeman.
Shame on the American media!!!
Now … YOU pass this along on YOUR mailing list.
Submitted by former Huey pilot Dick, Williamsport, Md.
Posted in Friday Fiasco, Keynote Speaking, inspired
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Tagged affiliation, building trust, cameras, can you dance, charlotte speakers, commando, community, community team building, community teambuilding, death, democrat, Ed Freeman, energetic, engaging speaker, enthusiasm, example of public speaker, exciting speakers, flash mob, flash mob dance, funny speakers, hero Ed Freeman, High Intensity, High Intensity Teambuilding, hip hop, Keynote speaker, keynote speakers nc, largest flash mob in NC, Medal of honor, media cameras, motivational speakers, motivational speakers nc, Oprah, pearls of wisdom, Public speaker, public speaking, razor, republican, retirement, team building, teambuilding, Terry Vaughan, Terry Vaughn, what he really means, your life sucks, youtube.com/tcvaughan34
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Mastering your negative emotions – part three.
By
admin
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Published
January 27, 2010
Monday we chatted about what really constitutes as having a bad day, rather than just a frustrating day.
We’ve already established that in order to experience a genuinely bad day your life needs to have been threatened.
But if it was a true “life or death” situation and you’re now able to tell us about it, that means you obviously survived and are now officially back to experiencing a good day again…
Are you beginning to see how this works?
A few years ago I read something about P.O.W.’s which detailed specifically how individual character bias, either Optimist or Pessimist, impacted a person’s ability to survive captivity.
I found it surprising to discover that the optimists typically faired slightly worse than the pessimists, over time.
I would have guessed the optimists would have handled imprisonment the best, but then I’m an optimist, so I would. LOL.
They were slightly worse off, typically, because they couldn’t seem to achieve their up-beat mindset without giving in to the temptation of setting a timeline for improvements. In other words, they would say things like,
“OK, it’s bad today, but two months from now things will be so much better, because of xyz….” Or,
“I know we’ll be home and with our loved ones by Christmas, or Easter, or Thanksgiving.”
Whenever those times and dates came and went without materialization, these guys became depressed. In the beginning they would only be depressed for a few days. As optimists they would soon begin setting another time or date for release and focus all of their energy of getting through to then.
When those dates also came and went, their depression would then last for weeks. The next time it would last for months, until eventually the light in their eyes would just go out and they stopped trying.
No one can predict how they will perform under these types of conditions, either. In the cases to which I am referring, these men had been detained for many months, or even years. They had been tortured, physically, mentally and emotionally.
Who’s to say they wouldn’t have lasted as long as they did, if not for their sense of optimism.
It’s a bit like that old joke about the young man boasting to his Doctor in regards to his unhealthy lifestyle. He confidently points out that his Grandfather had lived until he was 95, while still smoking, drinking and cursing all the way to his grave!
The Doctor had quietly replied, “How long would he have lived if he hadn’t smoked and drank?”
It might be that the P.O.W.’s sense of optimism kept them alive as long as it did. They existed in the worst conditions imaginable, suffering severe malnutrition, dehydration, and degradation at the hands of their captors.
Not that the pessimists faired too much better!
The slight advantage the pessimists may have had over the optimists, came in the way that the pessimists simply accepted and resigned themselves to their fate.
It was no surprise that they had been captured, it was just their luck. They certainly didn’t expect to ever see freedom again – that would be way too optimistic. They never set times/dates that would pass them by, so there was little in the way of additional psychological let downs with which they had to contend.
There was only the here and now: Nothing more, nothing less.
The trouble with this sort of reasoning is there was very little for them to live for! We need hopes and dreams and ambitions to grow and develop as people. It’s what has brought us to where we are now. Our imagination is what ignited the fire under some of the world’s greatest explorers. It was our imagination that put people on the moon.
Without dreams, ambitions, or the determination to excel, we have little or no passion and without passion, our will to live wanes.
This is precisely what happened to the pessimists. They literally lost the will to live. Without the hope of freedom, what was the point in suffering for longer than necessary?
They were never going to get home anyway. And even if they did, the general public would hate them, spit on them and cast insults upon them – right?
You can begin to see why a pessimistic attitude would be detrimental, too.
So what is the right balance? How did those that survived achieve it? How did they learn to control their emotions long enough to make it through such a spirit crippling existence?
And how that can help YOU begin making the most of your frustrating days, rather than becoming emotionally entwined in an on-going negative belief system?
Tomorrow we will wrap this segment by looking at definitive ways you can capitalize on these lessons and begin making changes within yourself, which will impact your life for the better.
Cheers, Terry.
P.S. “No man is fit to command another that cannot command himself.” – William Penn
www.highintensityteambuilding.com
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