TG it’s Friday Fiasco!

 

 

Hellooo team-mates! The end is nigh…may as well have a giggle then.

 

Jk: In a Doctors waiting room Phil sits casually flicking through a standard issue well worn magazine. Suddenly a Nun bursts from the Doctors office and sprints through the waiting room and out into the hall, crying.

Phil takes his seat with the Doctor and asks what was wrong with the Nun.

“Oh, I told her she was pregnant.” Replies the Doc.

“A Nun! Pregnant? No wonder she was upset!”

“Oh, she wasn’t really pregnant. But it sure as hell cured her of hiccups.”

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.uphaa.com/blog/index.php/wtf-pics/ follow the link to more weird photos from across the web…Here’s a few to wet your whistle:

 

Forget the kid...this one made my skin crawl. This thing could be in a horror film.

Forget the kid...this one made my skin crawl. This thing could be in a horror film.

The morning after can be rough...forget coyote ugly. This would be worth chewing off your entire leg to get out from under...

The morning after can be rough...forget coyote ugly. This would be worth chewing off your entire leg to get out from under...

I can't decide if he's trying to cover it up, or spank it into submission...
I can’t decide if he’s trying to cover it up, or spank it into submission…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some random observations pulled from across the web:

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

 

As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words ‘The’ and ‘IRS’ together, it spells – ‘THEIRS’?

 

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea….does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?

 

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren’t they just stale bread to begin with?

 

This should help put your ride into work on Monday morning back into perspective...

This should help put your ride into work on Monday morning back into perspective...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://visboo.com/funny-signs-and-labels.html Signs that make ya titter!

 

http://all4yourfun.com/bizarreodd/world-tallest-model-from-germany.html      ….just like it says, the worlds tallest female model…..with size 15 US shoes…..

 

Yeah. I'm rushing to the store as we speak....yummy.

Yeah. I'm rushing to the store as we speak....yummy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Little Known Laws Exposed

 

Life in the Fast Lane. In Finland, traffic fines are calculated as a percentage of the offender’s most-recently-reported income. In January 2002, Anssi Vanjoki, 44, (above) a director of the Finnish telecommunications giant, Nokia, received what is believed to be the most expensive speeding ticket ever— $12.5 million — for driving his Harley at 75 km/h (47 mph) in a 50km/h (31 mph) zone. Mr Vanjoki appealed the fine because his reported income dropped significantly about five days after the incident; because of the new data, the fine was dropped to $103,600, still the most expensive speeding fine in history

 http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/photogallery/little-known-laws-exposed.html

 

I've always been a HUGE soccer fan...as of yesterday at least, when I found this shot.

I've always been a HUGE soccer fan...as of yesterday at least, when I found this shot.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://oddee.com/item_96986.aspx - tightrope walker… I just want to know what the hell is on the otherside to make this worth the “walk”…

 

You'll figure it out.

You'll figure it out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://collegetimes.us/top-10-wtf-us-sex-laws/ – weird that these are laws, too!?

 

 

 

 

 http://humor.collegetimes.us/pictures/just-the-right-moment/ – camel attitude adjustment 

No animals were injured during the making of this shot. Although, the camel did request a cigarette after the shoot...

No animals were injured during the making of this shot. Although, the camel did request a cigarette after the shoot...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jk: I have always loved “Gas Guzzling Cars” for their comfort & safety.  I took out a Cadillac Escalade for a test drive the other day just to drive that sucker before they become extinct.
 The salesman sat in the front seat describing the car and all its wonderful options.  The seats were of particular interest.  He explained that the seats directed warm air to your butt in the winter and directed cool air to your butt in the summer heat.
 I stated the car must be a Republican car.  He asked why I thought it was a Republican car and I explained that if it were a Democratic car, the seats would blow smoke up your ass year-round.

 

 

 Cheers, and have a lovely weekend! Terry.

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The three rules for being mentally tough!

Bad hair days were really starting to frustrate her....Hello again mates and welcome to a brand new week. :-)

 

Mentally tough isn’t necessarily about developing the inner Special Forces soldier in you – although that kind of mentality is certainly tough: It’s about finding a way to make the most of everyday no matter what misfortune transpires!

 

One sure fire way to get you mental game off on the right foot, is visualization: In other words, your future becomes your focus. But, if you think that alone will ward off the evil spirits, Murphy’s law, or whatever other “bad” luck you’ve got heading your way, think again!

 

 

 

 

Mentally tough really boils down to these three practical things and not necessarily in this order either:

Be prepared – expect the unexpected.

Don’t start feeling sorry for yourself – no matter what.

Cracking a joke at your own expense, first – then consider how you’re going to deal with the problem at hand.

 

The toughest one of these is usually the, “expect the unexpected” – followed by, “not feeling sorry for yourself,” and then finding the humor in your situation.

 

We are going to look at, “Not feeling sorry for yourself” – first.

 

Steven Callahan wrote a book aptly titled, Adrift about his 76 days at sea, after his home made boat was destroyed during a solo voyage around the world. Half his survival equipment didn’t make it onto the emergency rubber raft after the accident, and he was only half dressed!Please leave your pants on for the throat swab, Mr Jones...

He talked in detail about the emotions that threatened to destroy his mindset during his adventure. More importantly he revealed that the choices he had made, like walking away from the security of society in order to pursue his dreams of sailing, were at the root of why refused to feel too sorry for himself.

 

He knew he had made choices that had led him up to this point in his life. The things that seemed to conspire against him as the days in his tenuous rubber raft gave way to weeks, he did his best to remind himself that giving up and dying wasn’t an option.

Believe me, after reading his account of things, it would be hard not to seriously think about throwing in the towel…

 

Most of us in our lifetime don’t get 76 days alone – let alone consecutively, and although there are times when 76 days alone anywhere, including the ocean, might appeal to us, the reality is we’d be scared silly.

 

How would you cope?

 

At the heart of every survival story is the million dollar question we ask about ourselves, would I survive that?

 

...this never repeatedly, habitually, constantly happens to me and my pc...oh noooo...The truth is, if you struggle to get through a regular working day, constantly letting the problems of the day get the better of you, then the chances are you’d become just another statistic if something transpired out of the ordinary.

 

Our focus goes askew when things drift outside the “vision” we had for the day. It’s not that we are mentally weak, although in some cases that also applies, it’s more that we tend to focus on who’s to blame rather than whether we can fix it.

 

Our energy is quickly converted into anger or frustration about what has happened, instead of focusing on how to best deal with it. We let loose the voice in our heads that screams this wasn’t your fault; once again it’s just bad luck piling up.

 

It has nothing to do with luck, good or bad. Things just happen. You are lost in the wilderness and it begins to pour with rain. It was going to rain any way, Mother Nature hasn’t decided to play some cruel joke on you just for grins.

Mother Nature is coldly indifferent to whether you live, or die. She doesn’t care. She certainly doesn’t feel sorry for you – and neither should you!

Wasting your energy feeling sorry for “poor little old you” doesn’t help anything. Instead, you should immediately look around to see what you have at hand that can be used to improve your situation. Nearly everything in life can be used for more than just its original purpose, it just takes imagination in order to fathom how.

After dinner and keynote speakerThat’s where your energy should be directed. Self pity is a wasteful occupation; as is sitting and waiting for someone else to come and rescue you.

 

Which brings us to, “expect the unexpected”  …Or at least it will tomorrow!

 

I’m off to attend a Toastmasters meeting now and will pick up with this again tomorrow.

 

Cheers, Terry

 

www.highintensityteambuilding.com

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Why the hell would I want to be mentally tough anyway?

Because, frankly, if you aren’t, life can royally suck…

 

Sally's new job as a food quality taster was proving much too distracting for the other workers....And life isn’t supposed to suck: At least not all the time. It’s supposed to suck from time to time, but you should always manage to bounce back, better and stronger than ever – and that’s why being mentally tough is so important!

 

 

 

Developing mental toughness sets you up to bounce back quicker than the competition after you both hit the proverbial wall!

 

Of course, not everything is a competition, right?

 

It’s not as if we:

Have to fight for everything we get in life…

Struggle to keep ourselves running successful business’…

Battle to keep our kids safe and on the straight and narrow…

Juggle the sort of schedules heads of state would have marveled at 20 years ago…

 

All while eating healthily, exercising, volunteering our time to worthy causes and trying to get enough sleep so we don’t burn out before our next birthday..

Or is this just me?? LOL

 

Unfortunately, when we imagine someone mentally tough, we always seem to end up with some sort of Drill Sergeant Caricature, who doesn’t actually resemble anyone we’d ever want to emulate – or is it? Drill sargeants aren’t always grumpy you know, and tough love is still love after all…. :-) Hey, she's disciplined enough to put herself through school using that whip - who are we to judge?

So what’s the happy balance?

 

For me, it starts with exercise.

I stumbled across a neat and short Blog posting in reference to the whims of exercise and what the current training trends reflect right now –  http://www.malepatternfitness.com/2010/2/9/1303157/fitness-circa-2010 

Don’t worry about it saying male pattern anything, it’s more a segment about why training is going the way it currently is, and I must say I agree, but with an additional reason tacked on.

 

If trouble is ever going to find you, it’s going to require a relatively short, incredibly intense burst of activity on your part in order to facilitate, “fleeing” the scene, so-to-speak!

 

In very few instances will there be a need for you to lift a car engine sized weight above your head while admiring “witnesses” applaud your strength. But if you visit just about any Gold’s Gym, or equivalent, in the country, you’ll be sure to find a huge segment of the visiting clients training as if this were the case.

 

Steroids are rampant, heavier is always better, and wife beaters which allow full view of the male nipples are the fashion du jour.  It would seem that very little emphasis is being placed on over-all maximum fitness. Ask one of these meat heads to run a few laps around the parking lot and their tanks will be empty before they get through the double doors exiting the building.

 

And yes, I know, running isn’t everyone’s cup of tea: Which is why exercise programs like Cross-fit are so popular. It is a great alternative to running in order to improve cardio vascular fitness.

 

This “new” training regime harkens back to a time when most exercise programs were practiced for combat only.

Fond memories litter my aging brain of training many of my clients using strategies like full body ranges of motion, and maximum effort, because it seemed to me that if the body moves that way in everyday life, we should train it that way.

 

Sometimes, being the wingman takes more than discipline...it takes sacrifice too.I’ve always believed that maximum effort was important because when you are in a pickle and flight isn’t an option, fighting is brutal, exhausting and messy. The combatant with the most resiliency was most likely to walk away – or more likely stagger away, but either way you’re leaving the scene.

 

But you aren’t going to walk, or stagger, any where if you haven’t put your body through its paces on a regular basis. This for me is where the mental toughness begins to come into play.

Conditioning yourself to get to the gym more than once in a blue moon is a great start. This alone takes discipline: which is the other part of the equation.

 

These days when most people get an ache or a pain, it’s off to the doc’s and get it looked at – stat!

I once had a kickboxing client who kicked me so hard he bruised his ankle. In contact sports, as in life, bruises are to be expected.

What’s not expected is the E.R. visit that followed because he was convinced he’d broken his leg…

 He used the correct medical terminology for his injury upon seeing me next time, defending his visit to the E.R. with the colorful explanation that he’d sustained a contusion; which, by any other name, is a bruise. 

 

Not particularly tough…

 

I know he wasn’t used to getting those types of bruises, or feeling that kind of pain, but when did you ever hear that life was supposed to be pain free???With no pain tolerance what-so-ever, even the weight of her wine glass could make her cry...

 

It’s not. We have pain receptors for a reason. Sometimes, shit hurts. The good news is, if you’re feeling pain it means you aren’t dead yet, so suck it up and keep on trucking….

 

Regular training, especially intense challenge your whole body until it shakes, can’t catch your breath or feel your fingers kind of training, develops your pain threshold. It pushes the body to the limits.

Some days that might be ten minutes. And some days it might be 50. Either way, going to the gym or participating in a class environment that challenges your entire physiological make-up, begins the process of developing mental toughness.

 

Self-Discipline adds another facet to the equation. We’ll continue covering more on this subject over the next few days as this is so close to my heart. Plus I can’t wait to see what emails arrive from today’s post

 

Keynote and motivational speakerWe’ll have a look at few folks who are shining examples of discipline personified and why it was so important for them be remain disciplined in order to save lives; their own and others.

 

Cheers, Terry.

 

www.highintensityteambuilding.com

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Karaoke anyone?? It will help your decision making under pressure….

Developing mental toughness and staying cool under pressure.

 

Today we are going to start with the last part first, before going onto the first part last, beginning tomorrow… You following me? Hahaha! :-) No matter what she did, she just couldn't get the finger puppets to talk to each other...

 

Does being mentally tough just come down to genes?

Is it just a case of you are whatever yo’ momma gave ya, and that’s it?

 

I don’t think so!

 

I want you to imagine a simple scenario: You are out on the town with a group of friends and the first place you guys happen to stop in has a Karaoke machine.

You aren’t drunk yet, not by a long shot! Do you go up and start singing??

You should: But not immediately. First you should sit for at least 15 minutes contemplating going on stage and singing. I want you to think about which song you’ll perform. I want you to think about all those people watching you up there alone, most of them are drunk, and there might even be some heckling after you get going.

 

They might hate your singing ability!

But you should go up any way, and today’s Blog is about why…

 

For years it was thought that our brains couldn’t develop more “mass” once we left childhood behind. The latest research has blown that theory well out of the water and this is good news.

 

When it comes to making decisions under pressure, you can train yourself to make a choice quicker, by keeping your new life experiences quota up.

 

Why? Because more life experiences, particularly exhilarating or frightening ones, help our brain mapping, and neuroplasticity occurs…. New experiences mean faster cognitive abilities when circumstances demand it.

 

...and I'm sure you'll look just like her when you get up and sing...Going up on stage to sing Karaoke, sober, would qualify as a new and exhilarating experience for most of us, and this is a good thing. For most of us public speaking, or even better, sober public singing, would be cause for great amounts of panicking.

 The brain loves new challenges and revels in the chance to improve its own efficiency. It will lay down a new marker within itself and then, the next time you are forced to make a decision quickly, under pressure, it can run straight to the “marker” or file cabinet labeled, “Holy shit, I need to make a decision” – and do so faster than it did before.

It adapts faster to new and unexpected stimuli because it has new, “pathways” on which to travel.

 

We make decisions primarily based upon the totality of our own life experiences, the more varied and plentiful these are, the better we are equipped to handle unusual circumstances, threats, or scary encounters.

 

When we become complacent about life, or mentally sedentary, our brain starts going into cruise mode. Everything is pretty much, “normal” until suddenly it isn’t.

Then your brain effectively does a shoulder shrug and asks what the hell do you want from me? I’m not equipped to handle this; resulting in a freeze and a dumb looking facial expression.

 

This is exactly what happened to the doctor that attempted to intervene during that poor girls’ traffic accident I described last week. Theoretically he had the medical knowledge needed to help me with the incident. Unfortunately he lacked the stressful life experiences to keep him calm when it happened. He had no new, recent, mind mapped “flags” for his brain to fall back onto. His brain had to go way back to med school, or maybe even further back than that, for his brain to have a reference point from which to start the decision making process.

Basically he was out of practice when it came to doing things, “on the fly”. His capacity to improvise and remain calm in the face of all that stress was severely lacking. He may have been a Podiatrist for all I know. Or possibly when he yelled I’m a Doctor he failed to mention the whole story and he was a Doctor of Philosophy. Who knows!

 

I know that if a Dr. from one of the local E.R.s had of shown up, there wouldn’t have been any delay getting down to brass tacks. Even a nurse, or a cop, or a fireman, or Tiger Woods P.R. person, would have remained calmer than this guy!

 

My life, however, at that time was far from calm. I was still serving in the Commandos: An environment that prided itself on developing men that could stay calm under pressure.

 

After all, what good would you be running around firing blindly in all directions the first time things got a bit dicey?  

 

...it's just so hard to talk to you, when you are in one of your moods...We were placed into deliberately stressful situations and made to think clearly…at least most of the time. There were always going to be moments when running around like a chicken with its head cut off would seem like a good choice, given all of the options…LOL.

 

So, in an age when doing anything, “risky” is viewed with varied levels of disdain, I want you to embark on a journey of adventure this coming year and you can attribute every “crazy” experience towards becoming a more effective person under pressure.

 

That covers the “decision making process” part of last week’s Blog, tomorrow we’ll take a look at the final part in this series, Mental Toughness, and whether you are or aren’t mentally tough.

 

After dinner and keynote speakerCheers! Terry

 

www.highintensityteambuilding.com

More information about neuroplasticity on the following links:

http://www.headstrong.com.au/FAQ/~Q4-54/What_is_neuroplasticity

“Keeping your brain fit!” – follow the link below.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/02/04/usnews/main3787019.shtml

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Save a life – crack a joke!

...she just wants to make you laugh. Save a life – crack a joke!

 

How do you cope when the chips are down? I mean when it really hits the fan?

If you were to face a life or death situation right now, would you remain calm or panic?

People often associate panic with a colorful scene in their head of people running around screaming and generally making fools of themselves. In most cases people don’t panic like that. They tend to freeze, and perform no task of any use, whatsoever.  

 

I personally favor those kinds of people that perform the freeze panic, because the screamers, they are an unwelcome distraction to those of us that tend to remain relatively cool headed. Also, those that just stop doing anything are usually easier to get moving again, particularly if the cool headed person can give them a simple task to perform.

 

So which are you?

 

I recall spending a great deal of time working in and around helicopters during my time in the Commandos, and, as a means of transporting troops, they make great paperweights.

They don’t glide worth a damn when they stop working which can be very troublesome when you are 3000ft up in the air.

 

It was during such an occasion that the “cab” I was riding in decided to be a tad temperamental and not work in accordance with our plans for the day. I was a door gunner in the Lynx Attack Helicopter and we were practicing low level insertion for a section of 7 men. Prior to dropping down and beginning our low level approach we were flying at around 3000 ft when the, “heads-up” console (a panel of lights located where the heat & A/C vents are in the dashboard of a car) between the pilot and co-pilot, lit up like a Christmas tree.

Nothing is more alarming to anyone than the sound of alarms and flashings lights in an aircraft that’s already airborne. It just screams problems…

 

I heard the pilot and co-pilot chatting amongst themselves and running through various drills to find the source of our predicament. At first I thought there really couldn’t have been that much wrong, as the conversation between the two of them, sounded much like they were ordering breakfast at some low key restaurant. You wouldn't believe it, but she just crash landed on this beach...what poise!

This of course served to sooth my nerves and I was about to go back to scanning the ground far below me for signs of the enemy patrols, when the “cab” dropped like a stone for a couple of hundred feet. If you happen to be kneeling in an open doorway of a helicopter when this happens, I can tell you from personal experience, you will float up into the air weightless… If you are not securely gripping the headrest handle on the back of the co-pilots chair, you will now involuntarily exit the aircraft.

I didn’t want to do this, so I remained holding on firmly to the small handle and began asking a few choice questions of the crew…

Any chance you lads can keep this thing in the air long enough for us to make it back to base for lunch?”

 

Imagine my confidence souring to an all time high with the pilots reply,

Unless they’ve changed chefs, it’s gonna be the same crap as yesterday, so I don’t think you’ll be missing much, mate…”  Nice.

At which point the “cab” did it again, this time dropping even lower than before, and seemingly faster.

I turned to face the boys behind me and they were all laughing. The pilot told me to tell them to “assume the position” which I relayed through various facial expressions and hand signals.

I received several varieties of hand signal in reply and none of them were very polite.

I repeated the instruction insisting that they put their heads down between their legs and grasp around their ears to help prevent whiplash upon impact. I can’t tell you how funny this is to do when you aren’t strapped to anything.

‘Cause if the helicopter hits the ground from that height, it won’t matter what you’re grasping, the last thing that will pass through your mind will be your ass….

 

They knew it, and so did I. But sometimes it’s still better to do something rather than nothing when facing your own impending death. It gives you a sense of facing things on your own terms – kind of.

 

The smiles faltered on their faces when the “cab” dropped for a third time and this time dropped so hard and fast several of them floated into the air too, even laden down with all of their kit…

This is what happens when you don't have a sense of humor - stress has her way with you...I performed the universally accepted signal for death by drawing my hand across my throat. They were all looking at me wide eyed as it dawned on them the pilots weren’t actually messing around attempting to scare them, we really were in trouble.

Everyone quickly went through the unnecessary drill of double checking safety catches were applied to their weapons, followed by helmet straps pulled a little tighter, followed by shuffling a little lower towards the floor of the “cab”.

 

We dropped for a fourth time and one of the guys threw his hands up in the air and screamed…. At first I thought he was panicking; then he started laughing his ass off.

He looked like a kid on a roller-coaster, which was his intention.

It’s so loud in the back of these aircraft you can’t hear diddly unless you are hooked into the communications system. But that didn’t stop everyone from starting to roar with laughter. Now the entire section was poised ready to throw their own hands into the air should we drop for a fifth time.

We didn’t drop again and the pilots had already begun a controlled descent the moment the first trouble had begun. As the skids touched down on the grassy hillside in the middle of know where, I heard the pilot say to the co-pilot,

That was interesting.” As if we had all just taken part in some mundane high school science experiment.

 

What stopped my panic? Well, it helped me to hear firsthand the complete lack of panic in the pilots’ voices. Later that day they told me my question about us making it back for lunch helped them remain calm – I know they were just saying it to be nice, but I liked it anyway. LOL.

The guys riding in the body of the aircraft were helped by the clown who threw his hands into the air and pretended he was riding a rollercoaster.

No one panicked. People looked a bit concerned for a minute. But no one panicked. Of course, what would they have done if they had of panicked? It wasn’t as if there was anywhere to go… Jumping wouldn’t have helped; you weren’t going to get there any faster than the helicopter.

 

Quite possibly the perfect combination....In just about every case I can imagine, nothing good occurs with panicking: It solves nothing and typically only adds to the problem. These days most folks have had their fill of stress anyway – why would you want to add to it? Good leaders seek out ways to alleviate not only their own stress, but also that of their teammates, so that everyone can perform more effectively.

 

It’s not just in business where maintaining a sense of humor can help balance the status quo, either. It can also help maintain perspective on family issues, your friends’ problems, debilitating health issues; in fact, just about every facet of your life becomes easier to manage when approached with a sense perspective. - Follow the link.

 

The higher up the rankings you are in terms of influence within your peer groups or work, the more important this talent becomes. When others look to you the moment the proverbial, “merde” hits the fan, it’s time to step up and lighten the moment.  

 

 

 

Any asshole can add stress – your challenge is to think of a way to lessen it, and quickly!

 

The faster you can do this, the faster people will come to trust you to be their anchor whenever things go awry. Do you want to be a truly great leader? Make people laugh and relax in a crisis. Defuse the situation by risking a little of yourself in order to bring about some levity. Problem solving becomes a whole lot easier if someone has the ability to temporarily relieve the tension.

 

It has to be someone; it needs to be someone – so why not you?

 

Cheers, Terry.

P.S. “Experience: A comb life gives you after you lose your hair..”Judith Stern.

www.highintensityteambuilding.com

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