Situationally aware he wasn't...

As always there were a lot of questions pertaining to individual concerns from women usually born of their own personal experiences, encounters, or suspicions.

As always I attempted to alleviate their fears, not feed into them.

One of the most interesting aspects of what I do in these seminars is illuminate the most likely threat to women’s lives, and it isn’t abduction by a stranger – you are eight times more likely to be killed by smoke inhalation from a fire. How are those smoke detectors by the way, have you changed the batteries lately? Or talked with your household about your middle of the night fire escape plans when you can’t get down the stairs…?

Getting a reasonable perspective on the real dangers in life can be empowering all by itself. Once you are aware that there isn’t likely to be a “boogie” man lurking behind every lascivious grin you are accosted with while out and about, you can start paying particular attention to the real dangers…(a high salt diet and lack of exercise)

Believe me, her fingers are deadly...

It is also useful to know the most powerful tool in your arsenal of weapons isn’t some top secret all-encompassing Ninja Vulcan, three finger death grip, which can incapacitate any sized foe – because there isn’t.

Your best weapons are your brain, training, pre-planning and mental mindset.

I’m going to say that again: Your best weapons are your brain, your training, pre-planning and mental mindset. Master these and you should hopefully never need a weapon – or what I call a “tool”. *

One move will never solve all and neither will one tool. It’s more about the twenty little things you did throughout your entire day. It’s about your ability to keep paying attention to your surroundings while applying my TEDD situational awareness rules in conjunction with Jeff Coopers’ color code system, that constantly keeps you chipping away at your vulnerabilities until they are miniscule.

It’s using these lessons day in and day out until they are second nature and you are now constantly living your life in the, “Yellow” that determines how vulnerable you really are. The more you use them, the less vulnerable you are.

By habitually applying these lessons you become more relaxed while staying in the Yellow zone and consequently more open to your own intuition.

But the process takes time: Which is why I ask my girls to place the yellow stickers in obvious places around their homes and vehicles, so that the reminder is constant for at least thirty days.

Are you paying attention??

As a side note, did you happen to watch the news last night and the story of a good Samaritan who came to the aid of a female mugging victim, and ended up stabbed himself. As a result of that intervention he did manage to save the women, but at the ultimate cost: He died on the sidewalk from his injuries over an extended period of time, an hour and twenty five minutes.

What happened to the woman he saved?

Why didn’t she call 911 on behalf of herself and the Samaritan?

Why did upwards of twenty passersby ignore him?

We shouldn’t expect rescue of any sort, in any set of circumstances, because having that mindset allows us the luxury of relinquishing responsibility for our own lives to someone else.

If someone does show up and save you during your “Survival Experience” then by all means welcome the “hero”. But it should come as just that, a welcome interruption to the adventure – not because your self-rescue strategy has planned for it. Plan to have to deal with things yourself, first, second, and last.

As for the poor bugger that died helping this woman, his heart was in the right place, and I applaud his bravery, but without training he was as helpless as the first victim.

Self-defense is a skill and situational awareness extends well beyond the realm of just looking around you in a parking lot. It is also an exploration into yourself, your personal skills, your abilities, or even the basic practical aspects of maintaining a maximum distance between you and the attacker.

Something tells me she isn't taking this seriously at all....

Self-defense and situational awareness should be gender neutral.

I teach it to women because they are in need of the skills much more so than men, at least under most normal circumstances.

But every once in a while something will occur and a man will need these skills too, or he will approach the situation over confident in his abilities, and under educated in the realities.

The next couple of Blogs will be in regards to some of the more frequently asked questions from these seminars in regards to either more detail than I was able to relinquish at the event, or alternative strategies to add to your repertoire.

See you again tomorrow mates!

Cheers, Terry.

* I will often refer to self-defense weapons, including guns, simply as tools.

Because without the proper mindset before an incident ever occurs, these things, guns included, are about as useful as paperweights.

It must be you that is the weapon with decisions made pre-incident about what you will be prepared to do in defense of your life. Making this decision during an encounter can have deadly consequences. If you would like more information on this subject you should read a book by Colonel Dave Grossman called, On Combat – or the original Pulitzer nominated book, On Killing.

Not that this weekend will be much of a rest period for me – I have the launch of my Women’s Self-Defense & Situational Awareness Seminars next week and there are SO many things to do!

Here’s something funny I came across during the week:

But they still had to pay through the nose for their carry on.

“Vegetarian” is a very old English slang term used to describe the village idiot; someone that could not hunt, fish or ride a horse.

The kind of person that ends up being labeled the “vegetarian”, because they don’t want to learn the skills necessary to feed themselves, is the same sort of person who waits to be victimized by an assailant before learning about self-defense…. :-0

Fortunately for me, I haven’t run into this problem launching the self defense seminars – the response has been fantastic! The following are a couple of the reasons women have already signed up

1   It’s been years since I did anything like this. I know there must be more updated and relevant information available than what I was taught 10, 15, or 20 years ago – Many women have taken some sort of self-defense or situational awareness class before, but understand that these skills are perishable: Without regular revision and attention to your skills, what you think you will do in a crisis and what actually transpires will be worlds apart.

2     I have a friend who is clueless about situational awareness, let alone self-defense; she thinks everyone she knows is her friend. I’m bringing her! As sad as this statistic is, more women will be hurt from an attack by someone they know, than from anyone else. Once you are clued into what tactics he may use to get you alone, then you have a much better idea about how to avoid this predicament.

With all that being said, I did hear something funny from one girl:

But this move looked great when Jean-Claude Van Damme did it....

1 “Oh, I do a kick-boxing exercise class once a week so if someone gets too close to me – I know exactly what to do….”

 

Really?????? You cannot be serious????? (this is best exclaimed using a John McEnroe accent)

I can see the training program being delivered to SWAT members all over the country: No more continued hand-to-hand combat training lads (& girls) – we’ve got an exercise class that’s going to take the place of all that. Step on the eight count…and we’re off, to the left, to the left, and kick, and grapevine…to the right.

Bad guys all over the country are turning themselves into Law Enforcement facilities as fast as possible trying to avoid the wrath…

I do believe she has had a disconnect somewhere in regards to what reality-based self-defense could really mean.

A fight for your life is going to differ slightly from what you probably envision.

Firstly it will be the scariest thing you can imagine, (duh) but if you don’t understand the physiology behind your own body’s reaction to the event, you are already in trouble. Anticipating what your body can, and can’t do, in this situation will greatly enhance your ability to choose your moves wisely.

Secondly it’s going to be dynamic, not static. Your attacker isn’t going to give you the luxury of gathering your thoughts first before he gets really mean. Flying back kicks and intricate wrist locks and manipulation is best left to the experts.

The experts being those girls and guys who are fighting two or three times a week for a career in the Octagon. (And even then, many times, it’s not the fancy crap that works; it’s having an incredibly strong grasp of the basics and then being able to implement them perfectly that will win you the fight).

If you aren’t prepare to spend three or four sessions a week practicing fancy moves, don’t expect to be shown a few things once and walk away the new, “praying mantis kung fu master” ‘cause it ain’t going to happen.

Ignoring the danger doesn't make the it any less real. It just makes you a statistic.

Reality, in an extremely high stress situation, (I presume you know that fighting for your life is going to be a tad high in that department) means keep it simple stupid (KISS).

And yes I’m being somewhat scathing. But there are many a true word spoken in jest.

Regardless of what skills you learn, when the reptilian part of your brain takes over and all sense of reasoning has left you, then you know the merde has hit the fan.

You will pretty much resort back to the problem solving abilities of a 1980’s home computer: In other words, not much. Let’s work with what you have available shall we?

Fine motor skills will be all but gone. You’ll probably have trouble dialing 911 on your phone, if you are lucky enough to break away from your attacker long to reach one.

I’m hoping that the one girl that told me this is starting to re-consider her stance on the effectiveness of aerobic kickboxing class as a self-defense tool. If she isn’t, then apparently Darwin’s selection process is obviously hard at work again….

The most important aspect to any self-defense & situational awareness program is not what some instructor can teach you about fighting:

It’s what they can teach you about yourself!

Your mind is the weapon – your hands, teeth, finger nails, knees, elbows, feet, are nothing but tools. Without the ability to think quickly and rationally they will just sit there, useless, while your whole world comes unraveled.

That’s why it’s so important to keep your head in working order, and hopefully not suffer from the medenial symptoms….

Constant revision and practice of tactics are not just for SWAT teams or Commando Units. They are also for the person most likely to be called upon to protect their children. Not just from an actual direct physical threat – although this should rank pretty highly.

But also because when you go somewhere without your kids, or your husband, or boyfriend or your parents, those people are expecting you to come home again…you must fight so they don’t lose a loved one unnecessarily.  

Women's Self-Defense & Situational Awareness Seminars

We fight only if we have to – Only if everything else we have actively done to protect ourselves has somehow fallen short. But if you do have to fight, you better know enough to finish it quickly and efficiently so it’s the bad guy that doesn’t make it home that night.

Cheers, Terry.

This time it is safe to walk towards the light, gentlemen...

…and another week draws to a close…la lala la…

I’m feeling positively skippy! What with the weather, Obama’s new health plan, the kids off school all of next week…..

Holy crap, I’ve just realized the only thing left to feel good about is the weather..better not start raining now…

Oh well, it must be the Brit in me bubbling to the surface. All negative and down about life. There’s a bloody good reason for the exorbitant amount of beer that gets consumed over there, you know.

 And not being one to break with traditions I reckon I’m going to go and start pounding a few back right now….la lala la…

You can have a gander at this weeks Friday Fiasco report.

JK: Over in San Diego, Joe is sitting on the balcony drinking a brew when he spots a gorilla in a tree staring back at him. Not knowing what else to do, he dials the zoo on his cell phone and let’s them know what he’s found.

They are, of course, ecstatic as this is one of their prize gorillas who had escaped earlier that day and they desperately want him back, safely.

They tell Joe that they will be sending someone over to capture the gorilla shortly and please stand by and keep an eye on the animal while he gets there.

Not much time goes by when a truck pulls up and a man gets out yelling Joe’s name. Joe rushes over and begins assisting the man as he unloads a ladder, a rifle, handcuffs and finally a Doberman.

The guy explains to Joe what his plan is, “I’m going to climb this ladder, shake the branch the apes in, when he falls out of the tree, my Doberman will bite him on the balls and hold him down, until I can get down the ladder and cuff him.”

Joe replies, “OK. Sounds like a plan. But what do you need the rifle for?”

The guy rolls his eyes and says, “Well, it doesn’t always go to plan. These gorillas are pretty strong. Every once in a while they shake the branch back and I end up falling out of the tree… If that happens I want you to shoot the freaking dog…”

Have a very close look at this, but if you can’t find the faces, follow the link…

You can follow this link to find the full size version to drive you crazy. They say there are 16 faces in the picture…. http://www.moillusions.com/

JK: A helicopter is flying above a Seattle when an electrical malfunction disables all of the aircrafts navigational and commincation equipment.  Due to the cloud and the haze, the pilot can’t tell where he is which way he needs to fly back to the airport.

Finally he sees a tall building and flies towards it. He writes a huge handwritten note that says,

“Where am I?” He holds it to the door window, facing a gathered crowd of curious onlookers within the building.

A short wait and a handwritten reply on a large piece of paper is held up to the window from within the building, it says,

“You are in a helicopter…”

The pilot smiles, waves at the people in the building and immediately turns the helicopter towards Seattle airport.

After landing the co-pilot asks him,

“How on earth did that message help you navigate back here?”

“Easy,” the pilot replied, “The information they gave was technically correct, but totally useless, so I knew it had to be the Microsoft building….”

No chance at all someone's getting past this guy and his watchful eye...

I would never fall down without them.

The following pictures were found at - http://izismile.com/2009/08/20/daily_picdump_118_pics.html

Wait for it...yep. There it is. WTH are they thinking...?

If you'd listened to me, we would have taken a right at the dining room chair and be safely in the kitchen by now.

Priceless.

One more reason he's mans best friend....

And thus concludes another glorious week, both here and abroad. Thank you for tuning in, and remember, if you think it can’t get any worse, just wait a minute…

Cheers, Terry

http://www.highintensityteambuilding.com/self_defense.php

There’s enough bad things happening in the world right now, that people are becomming more and more concerned about their personal security, and their family’s security, that I thought it was time to organize a number of seminars. These seminars are not to scare you; they are more a means to educate you on the best way to avoid trouble if possible, or deal with it if it finds you!

My decision to implement such a program was inspired also in part by the experiences of my friends, Katie Dixon and Monica Edmiston – both of whom are leaders in their industry and both of whom have been startled at the brazen “daylight” antics of some local low lifes.

What follows below is from Katie herself, (she has a great Blog of her own) and I’d like you to read her encounter with some asshole that is using up good air and shouldn’t be….

Submitted by Katie Dixon on April 1, 2010 – 8:00 am Visit http://www.kadifit.com/blog/?p=3707 for more information about Katie.

Hope you’re doing well and week has been kind to you so far…and if not kind, I at least hope the drinking is helping blur the pain…LOL.

Don't let the healthy apple munching fool you - she was drunk as a skunk last night...

Let’s carry on from Monday.

Now, if you miraculously find yourself surrounded by people who seem like down to earth realists, well motivated and capable of listening first and talking second, thank your lucky stars and by all means press on with dishing your advice.

But first remember this: If I happened to be amongst your group, the first thing I would want to know is whether anyone else has any experience in anything even remotely related to the current set of circumstances.

You have a vast array of knowledge – But do not assume you are the most knowledgeable!

No matter how accomplished you are, there is always someone with either more knowledge, or better perspective, or just a different perspective than yours. Ignore them at your peril.

Sharing everyone’s ideas also means sharing the responsibility. If one person steps into the leading role, oblivious to others suggestions and gets it wrong – well, things are going to get ugly.

If, on the other hand, the entire group voted on a particular action and it backfires, that’s spreading the love.

An NCO I worked with in the Commandos would habitually repeat the following mantra as if lives depended upon it, turns out he was right:

“Teamwork is essential. It gives them someone else to shoot at.”

Now, if that isn’t spreading the love, I’m not sure what is. A group that is consulted and made to be a part of the process, in this case trying to survive, will feel a greater sense of personal responsibility for the whole – not just themselves.

When one person starts rattling off orders and blindly expecting people to follow, things can begin to turn unpleasant in a hurry.

I reckon she's taking this walking on water thing too seriously...plus she's cheating.

If you think people should follow you on blind faith, simply because you think you are perfect, then you should try walking on water sometime.

If you can accomplish that task, then maybe people will step in-line and follow on nothing more than your say-so! If not, you better be able to explain why you think things should be done the way you are telling them.

Right now I’m coaching an MMA fighter, Sebastian Wojdak, and the guy has skills. He picks new things up fast, which can only be to his benefit, especially when not listening can get your head pounded by your opponent.

But beyond all of his natural talent and desire to be the best fighter possible, he has another gift: He is relatively humble.

Why is this important in a mixed martial arts fighter? Because on any given day you can, and will, lose a fight. The other guy may not necessarily be a better fighter than you, at least on paper. But a lucky shot hurts just as much as a skilled shot.

Humility means that on such a day, your fall isn’t quite as far. The crowd won’t necessarily want to see you pounded to within an inch of your life. Believe me this is of huge importance when it’s time to get back into the arena and try again.

Being humble allows you the freedom to say, after the fact, wow, I screwed up, he was better on the day and now I’ll train harder and come back more prepared. Thanks to everyone that has supported me…

You should never underestimate how tough things can be psychologically after that sort of a loss.  Humility will lend itself to receiving a great deal more support from people around you after such an event, versus having to contend with the trauma alone.

Life and death decisions with a group of strangers will amount to the same thing.

Orders will be construed as arrogance. Suggestions will be embraced as guidance.

Even more importantly, suggestions are viewed as the starting point for conversations. Conversations lend themselves to bonding and feeling a part of the process. No one starts to feel like a mushroom.*

If you make a suggestion and it turns out you are wrong, guess what, it was only a suggestion. We don’t typically feel the need to defend ourselves nearly as strongly when we have merely made a suggestion.

Now, if you give that same person an order and they don’t follow it, maybe because they know you are wrong….watch how vehemently you will defend your line in the sand.

Now you’ve made an enemy. And in a survival situation you don’t need enemies, you need allies.

The situation you are all in is enemy enough for all of you without creating unnecessary conflict; which brings me back to my original point – if you have observed the group diligently from the beginning, and decided they are a good group and well worth hanging with, this shouldn’t be so difficult.

If it turns out that you were wrong in your initial assessment and they are a bunch of plonkers, now would be the time to run, not walk away.

Walk, run, or even fly away when the group seems hell bent on doing the wrong thing.

You must not fear being alone. Sometimes being alone is the only way to survive.

I recommend reading this short account of plane crash survivor Juliane Koepcke - http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/europe/07/02/germany.aircrash.survivor/index.html

All of this pre-thought and consideration will go a long way to easing the impact on you mentally, should such an event occur. If you have never considered the problems you might have to face in an emergency, at least beyond the fleeting, “I hope that never happens to me” reasoning – you could end up being one of those people sitting on their ass just giving up and dying.

Bad things happen to good people all the time. It’s not personal; it’s just the way things are. Pre-emptive consideration of the possible challenges, decisions, and repercussions will afford you better control of your own emotions.

As Ralph Emerson once said, “What goes on around you, compares little to what goes on inside you.”

Next time, we’ll look at how tough do you think you are? And it’s probably tougher than you think. You’ve just never been pushed to your limit to find out how tough!

Keynote and motivational speaker

We’ll explore ways to improve your mental toughness before you ever really need the skills.

Cheers, Terry