Friday Fiasco, pictures to improve your attitude…
By
admin
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Published
March 5, 2010
Hello mates, nice to have arrived at another weeks end, eh? The first link below isn’t necessarily funny, but it sure as hell is different. Check it out and see if it doesn’t make your jaw drop when you hear what she had squirreled away….
http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?cl=18467088
 Even at this tender age, his passion for photography was astounding.
Followed by this lunacy! No wonder so many Americans want to travel to Europe and experience the culture – when any one tries for some over here, you get shot down and stifled for fear that the sight of the human form will lead to some sort of brain aneurysm….pathetic a nd funny:
http://guyism.com/2010/03/naked-snowwoman-forced-to-cover-up.html
 Who said there's no such thing as too much rubber? Need a little bit of motivation in your life? Or maybe just a way to compare and say, “It’s not so bad after all…”
These should do it..
 Wait until the chicks see this...
 And I'm weird for liking fairytales....?
 Hand her a magic shag pile carpet and she's all set...
 If only the model could read....
I was once asked by a lady I knew why I carry a handgun, and my reply:
“Because it’s illegal to carry a machine gun….” After I received this email earlier this week, I know I’m not alone…hahaha.
1.. Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.
2.. If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.
3. I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy.
4. When seconds count, the cops are just minutes away.
5. A reporter did a human-interest piece on the Texas Rangers. The reporter recognized the Colt Model 1911 the Ranger was carrying and asked him ‘Why do you carry a 45?’ The Ranger responded, ‘Because they don’t make a 46.’
6. The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented on his wearing his sidearm. ’Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you expecting trouble?’ ‘No Ma’am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have brought my shotgun.’
7. Beware the man who only carries one gun. HE PROBABLY KNOWS HOW TO USE IT!!!
But wait, there’s more!
I was once asked by a lady visiting if I had a gun in the house. I said I did. She said ‘Well I certainly hope it isn’t loaded!’ To which I said, of course it is loaded, it can’t work without bullets!’ She then asked, ‘Are you that afraid of someone evil coming into your house?’ My reply was, “No not at all. I am not afraid of the house catching fire either, but I have fire extinguishers around, and they are all loaded too”.
 You should never get between a hippo and the water...doesn't she know anything?
Jk: A guy is discussing his upcoming wedding with his friend.
“I’m not sure if my future bride is a virgin or not.”
His mate replies, “Oh, there’s an easy test for that! All you need is some red paint, blue paint, and a shovel.”
“What for?” The groom asks….
“You paint one ball red and the other one blue. On your honeymoon if she laughs and says, “Those are the funniest balls I’ve ever seen…” Then you hit her with the shovel.”
 It beats having to wake up to that damn alarm clock bell... Have a fantastic weekend so at least on Monday you’ll have some stories to tell….
Cheers, Terry.
www.highintensityteambuilding.com
Posted in Friday Fiasco, Keynote Speaking
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Tagged charlotte speakers, commando, community team building, community teambuilding, contract, engaging speaker, example of public speaker, exciting speakers, football, friday fiasco blog, fun blog, funny blog, funny speakers, good time, hilarious blog, jake delhomme, Keynote speaker, largest flash mob in NC, mike tyson, motivational speakers, motivational speakers nc, Oprah, Public speaker, public speaking, sports, strange pictures, Terry Vaughan, Terry Vaughn, weekend fun
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The week from Hell!
By
admin
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Published
February 26, 2010
Actually mates, it hasn’t been a bad week – but by God it’s been busy!! I have been going like the clappers for this whole week and seem to be perpetually one step behind, time wise, every step of the way. If only we could find a way to clone ourselves and then double the hours in the day, maybe, and this is a huge maybe, we would be able to fit everything in we need to accomplish…
But even then, I doubt it!
More hours in the day would be like having more money…no matter how much you make, you always seem to need slightly more than you actually have…LOL
In the interests of keeping things up-beat, (even though I have fallen disgracefully behind this week with the Blog trying to fit everything else in around it) I am going to put on hold the last portion of my Mentally Tough ponderings until next week and look for some humor to grace today’s Blog and keep the “happy” Friday theme in good standing…
Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes – there is too much fraternizing with the enemy… And so it begins:
“What do electric trains and breasts have in common? They’re intended for children, but it’s the men who usually end up playing with them…”
“What’s a man’s idea of foreplay? Half an hour of begging next to the bed.”
“What’s the difference between men and government bonds? Bonds mature….”
“How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? Nobody knows, it’s never happened…”
“How are men like parking spots? The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are handicapped…”
“Why do men become smarter during sex? Because they are plugged into a genius!”
“Why don’t women blink during foreplay? They don’t have time…”
And to keep it even…..
“Why don’t women pass as much gas as men? Because they won’t shut up long enough to build up any pressure…”
“How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be open by the time she brings it…”
“What’s worse than a male chauvinist? A woman that won’t do what she’s told…”
“How do you make a one armed women fall out of a tree? Wave to her…”
“What do women and cow patties have in common? The older they get, the easier they are to pick up..”
“Why can’t women have more than a ten minute lunch break? Because otherwise you’ll have to retrain them.”
OK – here’s a link to some alternative Motivational Posters, but I have to tell you, some of them will make you cringe, gasp, and then possibly gag – don’t say you weren’t warned! Hahahaha…. Gag worthy horribilus posters…
This is for all those of you that have to suffer a variety of Hotels when traveling for work – at least you weren’t staying in any of these!!
This link is also not for the squeamish! It’s a link to a list, pictures an all, of ten of the worlds worst jobs…
“A man is sitting in the VIP airport lounge en route to another city, waiting on a client to land for a very important meeting. While waiting he notices Bill Gates in the same lounge sipping a glass of wine. Being extremely forward he wanders over and introduces himself to Bill. He explains to Mr. Gates that he is about to have a very important meeting with a client. He goes on to say that if it goes well, it could be a career altering event, and that he would really appreciate it if during the meeting Bill would wander by and say,
“Hi Paul, how you doing? Thanks again for your help last month with that issue I was having.”
Bill smiles and politely agrees to play along.
A few minutes later the enterprising fellow is chatting with his client and the meeting is going well. Bill wanders casually by and remarks,
“Oh, hi Paul – great to see you again. Thanks for your help with that thing last month…”
Paul cuts him off, “Piss off Bill, can’t you see I’m in a meeting…”
This site is really quite a laugh – visit the site for more optical illusions!
A salesman is driving towards home through Arizona when he spots a Navajo man hitchhiking along the road. He’s tired and bored, so he stops to pick the man up. After a little small talk, the salesman notices the Indian looking at the brown paperbag between his legs on the floor.
“If you’re wondering what’s in the bag, ” he explains, “It’ a bottle of wine. I got it for my wife.”
The Navajo man nods and smiles knowingly before replying,
“Sounds like a good trade.”
Cheers, Terry
Posted in Friday Fiasco, Keynote Speaking
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Tagged battle of the sexes, Bill Gates, british royal marine commando, charlotte speakers, cloning, commando, elite soldiers, engaging speaker, exciting speakers, funny blog, funny speakers, green beret, hellish, horror hotels, hotels, Keynote speaker, keynote speakers nc, make me gag, motivational posters, motivational speakers, motivational speakers nc, olympic skiiers, platoon, royal marine commando, skiing, top ten worst jobs, wedding pictures, worst hotels
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Friday Fiasco, a few hours early, but close enough not matter…
By
admin
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Published
February 11, 2010
Friday Fiasco starting on a Thursday this time! And why not…? I just couldn’t wait…
“I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table..” - Rodney Dangerfield
At first I chuckled..then I thought about it a bit…then I decided, why the hell not – it seems like a really good idea and very “green”… Well, it at least leaves more space for the next corpse. (click on the blue link)
And for the grown up that has everything….try one of these:
http://www.opulentitems.com/Fun-Unique-Gifts.html
 
I’m not sure how much time or money you’ve got to have on your hands for this one, but it’s still funny to see what other people spend their time building…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sFZg9AaBpY
“There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either of them!” – Kin Hubbard
Now this is great commercial!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99oHUmKqmcA
Not sure about your wife going away for a girls week to the beach? Problem solved with this… http://gadgets.boingboing.net/2008/11/04/gps-lingerie-is-tack.html
Why did the lord make man first and then woman thereafter? Because after one look at Adam, He realized man was going to need some help! - Unknown
Hopefully I’m not the only one that finds these pictures fascinating:
http://zuzutop.com/2010/01/10-strangest-trees-on-earth/
“Only men who are not interested in women are interested in women’s clothes; men who like women never notice what they wear.” – Anatole France.
Cheers, and have a nice weekend!
Terry.
www.highintensityteambuilding.com
P.S. “Give me the luxuries of life and I will willingly do without the necessities!” – Frank Lloyd Wright.
Posted in Friday Fiasco, Keynote Speaking
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Tagged Anatole France, back yard roller coaster, beautiful trees, best places to look for work, blizzard, buried, buried alive, buried standing up, coffins, cubicle, finding work, gps, gps clothing, high tech toys, horse power, horse power of a vehicle, hot women, hovercraft, illusion, job fair, kicked off a building, kicked out, Kin Hubbard, mini roller coaster, office cubicle, office space, optical illusion, penguins, perfect plan. escape watching a chick flick, performing seal, personal hovercraft, pony, pony in a car, Rodney Dangerfield, roller coaster, scenic pictures, screw in coffins, snow, snow fall, toys for the wealthy, trees
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Friday Fiasco here again!
By
admin
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Published
February 5, 2010
Hello mates,
Have you ever been this tired..?
This should help remind the fellas about their anniversaries….(click anniversaries to follow the link.)
“He’s never been very successful. When oppurtunity knocks, he complains about the noise..” – Unknown.
This video is like a VERY weird train wreck – strange….but you’ll find your foot tappping along anyway about three minutes in..LOL
Lady Gaga http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrO4YZeyl0I
Jk: The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
“Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, He’s a doctor.’ A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher, she’s dead.”
…taking multitasking to a whole new level…
Jk. A guy walks out of a store and sees a traffic cop writing a parking ticket. He rushes over and says to the Officer,
“Come on mate, how about cutting a guy a break and tearing that up?”
The officer ignores the man competely and finishes up by sticking the ticket under the windshield wiper.
The mad gets mad and starts insulting the cop.
“You’d think with a face like yours, you’d be a bit more forgiving of the rest of us! Even your Mother is probably hard pressed to love that disaster…”
The officer smiles and begins writing another ticket, this time for bald tires.
“Shouldn’t you be somewhere else eating a dozen donuts? It must have been at least ten minutes since your last snack, fatty!”
This infuriates the traffic cop and he starts writing another ticket for a cracked winshield.
“Even out here I can smell your breath – when was the last time you laid anything other farm animals?”
For the next twenty minutes the exchange continues, until there is at least 11 tickets under the windshield of the car.
Then the man smiles, walks another fifty feet to his own car, and leaves….
Etrade is rocking it out with the “baby” commercials and this is a pretty good compilation of the “outtakes”… Watch long enough to hear the Wilderbeast reference… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHPg262Kr9c&feature=topvideos
Some funny quotes:
“My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.”
Jimmy Duran
“My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.”
Rodney Dangerfield
“We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.”
Will Rogers
“Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. . as you grow older, it will avoid you.”
Winston Churchill
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”
Groucho Marx
….of course I’m happy Dear..
I hadn’t heard about this festival in Japan until this morning, but these sculptures are amazing and well worth a look! http://www.torontosun.com/news/world/2009/02/05/8275886.html
Jk: A man left for work one Friday morning but, being a pay-day, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend, partying with the boys and spending his entire pay check.
When he finally appeared at home Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?”
To which he replied with a ”That would be fine with me.”
I don’t know what happened next but Monday went by and he didn’t see his wife. Tuesday and then Wednesday came and went with the same results. But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye..! - The Fun Hunt.com
True Story…. A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband’s funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: To: My loving wife
Subject: I’ve arrived Date: April 6, 2006
I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I’ve just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. sure is freaking hot down here!!!!! – The Fun Hunt.com
Cheers, Terry
P.S. “The average American is someone who deplores violence in the street and has seen High Noon five times…” – And I quote. Thomas Dunn Books, ST. Martin’s Press.
Posted in Friday Fiasco, Keynote Speaking
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Tagged always tired, anniversaries, anniversary, charlotte speakers, commando, community team building, community teambuilding, computer, engaging speaker, enthusiasm, Etrade, Etrade commercials, example of public speaker, exciting speakers, funny speakers, getting out of a parking ticket, Groucho Marx, help me, I need more energy, im not an aussie, japan, Jimmy Duran, Keynote speaker, keynote speakers nc, lady Gaga, lions, media, media cameras, more energy, motivational speakers, motivational speakers nc, multi-tasking, Oprah flash mob, parking ticket, pictures of lions, Public speaker, public speaking, remembering your anniversary, Rodney Dangerfield, snow festival, T-mobile, teacher, teaching, Terry Vaughan, Terry Vaughn, tigers, toilet, tokyo snow festival, Will Rogers, Winston Churchill, youtube.com/tcvaughan34
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Friday Fiasco – some funny, some painful, all light hearted relief before the weekend.
By
admin
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Published
January 29, 2010
I thought it might be fun to list a few amusing video links for today, as well as some that just make you scratch your head and wonder. A brief synopsis follows each link so you have an idea about what you’re opening and whether to turn the volume up or down….
http://www.break.com/index/how-to-report-the-news.html typically sarcastic English humor and it includes cursing, so make sure your kids or boss aren’t within earshot.
http://www.break.com/index/dog-poops-during-live-news-segment.html you can’t understand a word the news reporters are saying, but I don’t think you’ll need too…..
http://www.break.com/cute-girls/pogostick-girls.html not sure what type of insurance these girls are trying to sell, or in which country it was aired, but I’m thinking about changing my policy..
http://www.break.com/horror/horror-music-video.html I’m a horror movie nut and it was fun trying to guess which movie these clips are from.
http://www.break.com/horror/bedfellows—short-film.html – this one isn’t funny, turn your volume up and see if it makes you jump..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GoCqvnJFUUA&feature=rec-r2-2r-3-HM there’s no sound for this compilation of clips, but some of these really look like they hurt, so it’s worth a watch.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXsK5wyh3tA&feature=related some of these pictures are amazing. You’ve got to wonder WTH some of these folks were thinking to get into this kind of mess!
What he REALLY MEANS….
“That’s women’s work!” Really Means – It’s dirty, difficult and thankless, and I don’t want to do it.
“Can I help with dinner?” Really Means – Why isn’t it already on the table?
“It would take too long to explain..” Really Means – I have no freaking clue how this works but I’m not admitting that to you.
“We’re going to be late because of you!” Really Means – Now I have a legitimate reason for driving like an asshole, testing the very limits of my car and reflexes, and I expect no screaming or drama from you.
…and you thought your life sucked…
Taken from the incredibly funny Book F My Life by Maime Valette, Guillaume Passaglia, and Didier Guedj .
“Today I was volunteering at a nursing home, and I was calling bingo numbers. A woman suddenly stood up and started making noises. I assumed she had won, and began clapping. She fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I applauded her death…”
“Today my Father asked me if he could borrow my electric razor because he wanted to surprise Mum later. Anxious to see him without his lifelong beard, I willingly agreed. Half an hour later he exited the bathroom, beard fully intact…”
“Today I was getting my teeth cleaned at the dentists office. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. “STOP!” He ordered me. The movement of his lips cause the snot to fall right into my open mouth….”
“Today, while I was working, my ex-girlfriend came in to apply for a job. She had broken up with me for another guy, so I can’t stand to be in the same room with her. The manager hired her on the spot. I have to train her…”
Pearls of wisdom:
Don’t do for others what, given the chance, they wouldn’t do for themselves.
An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.
A retired husband is a wife’s full time job.
Even at a mensa convention, someone is the dumbest person in the room
One last joke:
The old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near he caled for his lawyer.
“I want to become a Democrat. Get me change of registration form.”
Slightly surprised the lawyer asked him,
“But why? You’ll be dead soon, so why change now?”
“That’s my business young man, just make it happen!”
A few days later the registration had been filed and the old man was now indeed a Democrat. The lawyer was once again at the old mans side as he closed in on death.
Suddenly the old man began coughing and gasping for air and it was obvious he was close to the end. Curiousity go the better of the lawyer and he attempted to once again get an answer to his question,
“Please, you are so close to death, tell me why you changed your affiliation?”
The old man took a deep raspy final breath and in a feint whisper replied,
“… now… there’s.. one less.. Democrat…”
 Cheers, Terry
P.S. Instead of writing a famous “quote” today, as I do for most days, I wanted to draw your attention to something that occurred earlier this week – you might not have even heard anything about it on the news, which is why I deemed it essential to make mention of it myself. If, after reading the article it strikes a chord with you, please cut and paste the story and email to your friends – these men should not be forgotten:
You’re a 19 year old kid.
You’re critically wounded and dying in the jungle in the Ia Drang Valley. November 11, 1965. LZ X-ray , Vietnam
Your infantry unit is outnumbered 8-1 and the enemy fire is so intense, from 100 or 200 yards away, that your own Infantry Commander has ordered the MediVac helicopters to stop coming in.
You’re lying there, listening to the enemy machine guns and you know you’re not getting out. Your family is 1/2 way around the world, 12,000 miles away, and you’ll never see them again. As the world starts to fade in and out, you know this is the day.
Then – over the machine gun noise – you faintly hear that sound of a helicopter. You look up to see an unarmed Huey. But … it doesn’t seem real because no Medi-Vac markings are on it.
 Ed Freeman is coming for you.
He’s not Medi-Vac so it’s not his job, but he’s flying his Huey down into the machine gun fire anyway. Even after the Medi-Vacs were ordered not to come. He’s coming anyway. And he drops it in and sits there in the machine gun fire, as they load 2 or 3 of you on board. Then he flies you up and out through the gunfire to the doctors and nurses.
And, he kept coming back!! 13 more times!!
He took about 30 of you and your buddies out who would never have gotten out. Medal of Honor Recipient, Ed Freeman, died last Wednesday at the age of 80, in Boise , Idaho . May God Rest His Soul. I bet you didn’t hear about this hero’s passing, but we’ve sure seen a whole bunch about Tiger Woods. . .
But nothing on the death of Medal of Honor Winner Ed Freeman.
Shame on the American media!!!
Now … YOU pass this along on YOUR mailing list.
Submitted by former Huey pilot Dick, Williamsport, Md.
Posted in Friday Fiasco, Keynote Speaking, inspired
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Tagged affiliation, building trust, cameras, can you dance, charlotte speakers, commando, community, community team building, community teambuilding, death, democrat, Ed Freeman, energetic, engaging speaker, enthusiasm, example of public speaker, exciting speakers, flash mob, flash mob dance, funny speakers, hero Ed Freeman, High Intensity, High Intensity Teambuilding, hip hop, Keynote speaker, keynote speakers nc, largest flash mob in NC, Medal of honor, media cameras, motivational speakers, motivational speakers nc, Oprah, pearls of wisdom, Public speaker, public speaking, razor, republican, retirement, team building, teambuilding, Terry Vaughan, Terry Vaughn, what he really means, your life sucks, youtube.com/tcvaughan34
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