Actually mates,  it hasn’t been a bad week – but by God it’s been busy!! I have been going like the clappers for this whole week and seem to be perpetually one step behind, time wise, every step of the way. If only we could find a way to clone ourselves and then double the hours in the day, maybe, and this is a huge maybe, we would be able to fit everything in we need to accomplish…

But even then, I doubt it!

More hours in the day would be like having more money…no matter how much you make, you always seem to need slightly more than you actually have…LOL

In the interests of keeping things up-beat, (even though I have fallen disgracefully behind this week with the Blog trying to fit everything else in around it) I am going to put on hold the last portion of my Mentally Tough ponderings until next week and look for some humor to grace today’s Blog and keep the “happy” Friday theme in good standing…

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes – there is too much fraternizing with the enemy… And so it begins:

“What do electric trains and breasts have in common? They’re intended for children, but it’s the men who usually end up playing with them…”

“What’s a man’s idea of foreplay? Half an hour of begging next to the bed.”

“What’s the difference between men and government bonds? Bonds mature….”

“How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? Nobody knows, it’s never happened…”

“How are men like parking spots? The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are handicapped…”

“Why do men become smarter during sex? Because they are plugged into a genius!”

“Why don’t women blink during foreplay? They don’t have time…”

And to keep it even…..

“Why don’t women pass as much gas as men? Because they won’t shut up long enough to build up any pressure…”

“How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be open by the time she brings it…”

“What’s worse than a male chauvinist? A woman that won’t do what she’s told…”

“How do you make a one armed women fall out of a tree? Wave to her…”

“What do women and cow patties have in common? The older they get, the easier they are to pick up..”

“Why can’t women have more than a ten minute lunch break? Because otherwise you’ll have to retrain them.”

OK – here’s a link to some alternative Motivational Posters, but I have to tell you, some of them will make you cringe, gasp, and then possibly gag – don’t say you weren’t warned! Hahahaha…. Gag worthy horribilus posters…

This is for all those of you that have to suffer a variety of Hotels when traveling for work – at least you weren’t staying in any of these!!

This link is also not for the squeamish! It’s a link to a list, pictures an all, of ten of the worlds worst jobs…

“A man is sitting in the VIP airport lounge en route to another city, waiting on a client to land for a very important meeting. While waiting he notices Bill Gates in the same lounge sipping a glass of wine. Being extremely forward he wanders over and introduces himself to Bill. He explains to Mr. Gates that he is about to have a very important meeting with a client.  He goes on to say that if it goes well, it could be a career altering event, and that he would really appreciate it if during the meeting Bill would wander by and say,

“Hi Paul, how you doing? Thanks again for your help last month with that issue I was having.”

Bill smiles and politely agrees to play along.

A few minutes later the enterprising fellow is chatting with his client and the meeting is going well. Bill wanders casually by and remarks,

“Oh, hi Paul – great to see you again. Thanks for your help with that thing last month…”

Paul cuts him off, “Piss off Bill, can’t you see I’m in a meeting…”

This site is really quite a laugh – visit the site for more optical illusions!

A salesman is driving towards home through Arizona when he spots a Navajo man hitchhiking along the road. He’s tired and bored, so he stops to pick the man up. After a little small talk, the salesman notices the Indian looking at the brown paperbag between his legs on the floor.

“If you’re wondering what’s in the bag, ” he explains, “It’ a bottle of wine. I got it for my wife.”

The Navajo man nods and smiles knowingly before replying,

“Sounds like a good trade.”

Cheers, Terry